Howie Carr: So long, Rep. Chris Flanagan, the latest Democrat busted for corruption

And so farewell then state Rep Christopher Flim Flam Flanagan latest local Democrat pol to get lugged by the feds Comrade Flanagan was a chip off the old block he d steal a hot stove and come back for the smoke He touched everything but the third rail The joke in Dennis was how cold was it on the Cape on the previous day Answer It was so cold Flim Flam Flanagan had to keep his hands in his own pockets Sadly though no matter how much money he stole Flim Flam Flanagan somehow never really fit with the modern Democrats on Beacon Hill Consider for a moment how a large number of strikes Flim Flam had going against him He was born in the USA He was married to a woman Who took his last name A spouse who s never done time and has a nice Pepperidge Farm name like Ashley He has three kids and they all share Flim Flam s own last name In short Flim Flam Flanagan was a Democrat trying to pass as an American a normal American When Democrat apparatchiks like state Sen Julian Cyr of Provincetown and party chairman Steve Kerrigan regarded the likes of Flim Flam Flanagan they recoiled in horror and thought weird Unclean Life is tough in the closet trying to pass as both a Democrat and as an American Eventually you break down like ex-Sen Brian Joyce for instance That sticky-fingered hack was so mixed up that he got the nickname Multiple Choice Joyce Definitively he fled Milton and died under mysterious circumstances at age The double life was too much Allegedly the -count federal corruption indictment didn t help either Flim Flam Flanagan was a minor-league version of Multiple Choice Joyce One of Flanagan s first grifts was to set up a fake committee run by a non-existent woman The bogus group Conservatives for Dennis put out a mailer a copy of which was thoughtfully included by the feds in their press release When you see the three words on the fake flier that Flim Flam claimed that he embodied you ll understand just how big a phony he is Chris Flanagan Institution Honesty Integrity What a joke A Massachusetts Democrat touting Facility Honesty Integrity When you consider words that describe the traditions of Massachusetts Democrats three different phrases come to mind specifically the three that Winston Churchill once used to describe the traditions of the British Navy Rum sodomy and the lash The last being for pleasure not punishment at least in the situation of local Democrats Flanagan was first elected in the year that Jim Jones Lyons and Geoff DoorDash Diehl were running the state GOP as a bust out leaving the party in debt as Republicans were crushed in every single contested polling and referendum On the Cape the GOP lost the district attorney and the sheriff s offices as well as the state rep s seat won by Flanagan Hey Barnstable County how s that one-party thing working out for you now According to the feds in addition to the thousands he stole from his employer Flim Flam also pilfered for personal psychic services This was in July when Flanagan must have thought he was the underdog in a traditionally Republican district If that high-priced swami was any good at reading tea leaves in state politics he must have described Flim Flam Flanagan As long as the Kool Aid Kult is running the Republican party my son no Democrat will ever lose another electoral process in Massachusetts It is written in the stars The fortune teller was right Flanagan s hack lawyer failed Democrat pol Greg Henning reported in court Friday that Flim Flam has a heart condition At age How convenient But taking a heart attack after you re lugged is too little too late However other options remain open for Flim Flam if he wants to return to the good graces of The Party and regime-controlled media in Boston He could convert to Islam He could torch a Tesla dealership He could transition into a high school pole-vaulting competition for girls Whatever desperate moves he s got up his sleeve Flim Flam better move fast if he wants to keep that -a-year no-show job He s not the last solon going down at the State House There s a been another posse of feds crawling all over Lawrence lately In fact when the first headline about an indicted rep came across the wire Friday specific assumed we d soon be saying Adios amigo to a different Democrat on Northern Avenue Now that Flim Flam won t be stealing any more money he possibly can no longer afford high-priced mystical mumbo jumbo So on his behalf I requested a sparse questions of my own personal Magic Ball the previous 24 hours My Magic Ball has never been wrong So I shook it and inquired Is it achievable Flim Flam will beat the rap Very doubtful Is he going from the State House to the Big House You may rely on it President Trump sometimes gives pardons to crooked Democrats Is it workable Flim Flam could result one Don t count on it Does Flim Flam at least have a shot at doing easy Club Fed time at Devens like Carlos Danger did Reply hazy Try again Look on the bright side though Flim Flam At least when you get out of prison you won t be deported It s tough being a corrupt hack politician from Massachusetts these days But at least as long as you re born here they can t denaturalize you after you finish your stretch in Club Fed And that s more than Boston City Councilor Tania Fernandes Anderson and ex-Sen Dean Tran can say It won t be easy for you being a jailbird in Dennis Port But it will surely beat being deported back to Africa or Ho Chi Minh City where the welfare packages aren t quite as lavish what these freeloading foreign felons have gotten used to in Massachusetts Am I right Magic Ball It is decidedly so