Dear Abby: Trying to tame career-ending crush on Brett

Dear Abby After six years of working closely together I have developed a raging crush on my co-worker and project partner Brett It s a full-on face-flushing daydreaming kind of situation and it s super annoying I know this crush is inappropriate and unreciprocated and I have no intention of acting on it We are both married and I would like to stay that way My strategy has been to spend less time together and work on not being a moron I ve changed my daily schedule so we don t overlap as often When we re traveling I book different flights so we re not together all day etc The issue now is that I ve heard from a different co-worker that Brett thinks I m mad at him and that he s done something wrong which is not the occurrence He s great invariably professional and very good at his job I don t want to keep hurting his feelings but there s no way I m going to tell him what s going on Besides quitting or going on leave until I can get myself under control what can I do Strictly Business in the South Dear Strictly To discuss your crush with Brett would be not only embarrassing but also unprofessional The co-worker who advised you Brett thinks you are mad at him may have intended to be helpful but unless Brett tells you himself do not make excuses for distancing yourself The surest way to get your crush under control is to keep reminding yourself that this kind of thing could destroy your career That may work even better than a cold shower Dear Abby When my husband was a teenager years ago he had a two-year online relationship with a girl who lives in Georgia I know they met each other only a couple of times We are all in our s now and once in a great while they contact each other by text or email I stated him it bothers me that they keep in touch especially when they say they miss each other My husband tells me they were there for each other when they were younger In recent weeks we took a road trip to Florida and he wished to stop off in Georgia to see her and so I could meet her He says that because they never had sex they weren t really going out It seems my feelings about this friendship don t matter Please advise me Abby Uncertain in Chicago Dear Uncertain I will assume that you nixed the idea of the detour to Georgia If I m right then I think you may have made a mistake Your husband had a relationship with that girl when they were teenagers It isn t surprising that the memory of it is significant to both of them You stated that they don t communicate often How is that a threat to you You won t endear yourself to your spouse by keeping him on a short leash Work on resolving your insecurities and loosen the reins If you do it will benefit your marriage Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren also known as Jeanne Phillips and was founded by her mother Pauline Phillips Contact Dear Abby at www DearAbby com or P O Box Los Angeles CA